I work hard, I grind ‘til I own it!…or should I?
Let me say, first and foremost, that this post is for those who are privileged enough to be able to even have the ability to work from home. I’m extremely blessed in my ability to work through a virtual medium & I don’t take that privilege lightly.
Let’s face it, Queen Bey gets it right 100% of the time, but ever since working from home, I’m finding it hard to find balance in my grind…and I’m an identified Hustling, Capricorn, PERFECTIONIST! Even as a professional in the mental health arena, I’m struggling with working too much or “too little” (we’ll get into that!). This is entirely new territory for so many of us…territory that didn’t come with any kind of road map! No wonder we’re turned around!
I hope I’m not the only one who assumed, incorrectly, that this whole work from home (WFH) thing would be infinitely more fun than going into the office on a regular basis. Granted, business casual has taken on a whole new meaning so that’s a definite plus (dress code = nice blouse and pajama pants, if you decide to wear any at all). If you genuinely enjoy and thrive within this set up, minus the social isolation, then I APPLAUD you, but my couch is developing a deep imprint of my body and I’m not sure how to fix it…this is just my furniture now!
At this point, 13 days in, I’ve been vividly imaging my office keyboard, my therapist chair, and the room I usually work with my clients in (I will never complain about the creaky fan, ever again). If you want an accurate gauge of my restlessness, I’ve been actually MISSING TRAFFIC! For reference, I work off the 101 in the San Fernando Valley…traffic is not something I wish upon my worst enemy, but I’m beginning to miss my slow drives, listening to podcasts about life, love, and things we collectively can’t stand.
But anyway, I figured if I’m struggling with this whole setup, some of 'ya’ll must be too, right???
Here’s what I’ve learned along the way:
Structure is Everything
I will be the first to admit that my PJs are my favorite pieces of clothing, even my leisure clothing consists of cotton/poly blends. But lets compare and contrast WFH with actually going into work. Before the madness, we were forced to create a routine, of sorts. Get up, get ready, eat (maybe), go to work, WERK, go home, eat, then sleep so you can do it all over again. Now? It’s fair game beyond our designated work schedules, if you have one. In the former part of my WFH journey, I was all too happy to have a lax schedule, seeing my clients during their scheduled times, then doing whatever the hell I wanted for the rest of my day. The joy of this lasted about…4 days. Day 5: I started to feel anxious, irritable, bored, and then some! I was confused: I LOVE my job, why was I so on edge?? The answer: I had ZERO structure beyond my work. I was spending my days watching endless hours of The Sopranos!So my advice? Keep your routine or create a new one: wake up, shower, change into some less pj-y clothes, eat, and “go” to work! Fitting in some breaks and fun, throughout the day is just as important to your health and well-being as working (working out, art, engaging with nature, being present…all of it, and more, can be incorporated to your WFH day!) We’ve all seen the memes: “rolling out of bed @755 to get to work at 8”. Incredibly relatable, don’t get me wrong, but we’ve been conditioned to be productive within the confines of a “normal” schedule. That’s what signals our system to shift towards a working mindset, and, frankly, I’d argue we all need a little bit of “normal” right about now!
Transitions Will Save Your Sanity
Lets take plays, music, and art in general. How do we know we’re about to change tracks, plots, or tones? Transitions! The same can be said for us. We’ve talked about maintaining a regular schedule in terms of WFH in general, but lets talk specifically about transitioning in and out of our work mindset. WFH doesn’t give us the same transitional rituals as traveling to and from work does! Typically, we clock out, we travel home, and BOOM we’re done! WFH makes it a tad more complicated. Here’s what helped me transition from work to home life, more successfully:
a. Try utilizing different spaces for different activities: You’ve heard “don’t mess where you eat!” Well I say “don’t work where you sleep”. Your body will naturally associate stimuli with the environment its most experienced. So let’s say you work from your bed (which is tempting as all hell), often becoming frustrated, anxious, etc…your body will now associate your bed/room with those feelings (if this is you, think about if you’re now having trouble sleeping).
b. If you’re in a space in which you can’t transition as explicitly, like a shared studio or small apartment, transition with rituals (yoga, mindfulness, meditation, showering, wearing different clothing, dance it out, etc. Having transitional rituals can be helpful in shifting into more of a relaxed “at home” mindset, similar to the relief you feel, pulling into the driveway after a long day at the office. My personal favorite transitional ritual is a short and sweet Stevie Nicks dance break!Try Not to Overcompensate
a. For the love of whatever deity you believe in, if any at all, TAKE YOUR TEN! I’ve personally fallen victim to the idea that “I’m working from home…I’m working in comfort…I don’t need my breaks”. Yes, yes you do. This is where that “working too little” belief comes into play. If you’re a recovering perfectionist, like I am, remember that a change in scenery does not negate your biological need for rest and recharging. You’re not working less, you’re working in a new setting, in fact you may be working harder if the transition has been more difficult for your company. Your increased level of “comfort” does not require additional effort beyond your established ability.
b. Remember that in times of COVID Chaos, you are going to feel moments of overwhelm, anxiety, fear, among other feelings. This isn’t a regular transition to WFH, this is a transition that comes with the baggage of a pandemic and all of the feelings packed inside that heavy luggage. If you need a moment to recollect, recenter, refocus, and rejoin your coworkers, please explore your options to do so!
c. Just because you’re working from home, that doesn’t equate with you working MORE to compensate for your increased safety and comfort.***A Post on COVID Coping will be coming soon!***
Make the most of it!
WFH can still be an enjoyable experience. Your commute just got a bit more shorter and your days filled with more opportunities to be creative. In the meantime, take advantage of the perks you would’t be able to tap into in your traditional work setting:
a. Utilize candles, essential oils, incense, etc.
b. Work near natural light as much as possible
c. Play your favorite music that would irritate your co-workers if you were in the office
d. If you have a cooperative fur baby, snuggle the heck out of them to cope in moments of anxiety and overwhelm
At the end of the day, give yourself the grace and space to navigate this experience the best that you can! We’re all doing the best we can. We’re all experiencing this COVID Chaos together. This experience won’t be perfect, but it will be yours!
For any topic suggestions, email me at therapywithlt@gmail.com
